Part IV. ANALYTICAL WRITING

Chapter 18. The Argument Essay

Introduction to the Argument Essay

The second Analytical Writing task is the Argument essay. In the Argument essay passage, the author will try to persuade you of something—her conclusion—by citing some evidence. On the GRE, always read the argument with a critical eye. Look carefully for assumptions in the way the writer moves from evidence to conclusion. You aren’t being asked to agree or disagree with the author’s position or conclusion; instead, you must analyze the chain of reasoning used in the argument.

The screen directions ask you to decide how convincing you find the argument. Know that every argument presented for this essay on the GRE will be flawed. To make your case, first analyze the argument itself and evaluate its use of evidence; second, explain how a different approach or more information would make the argument better (or possibly worse).

The directions for an Argument essay will look like this:

·     You have 30 minutes to plan and compose a response in which you evaluate the argument passage that appears below. A response to any other argument will receive a score of zero. Make sure that you respond according to the specific instructions and support your evaluation with relevant reasons and/or examples.

An Argument task will always begin with a passage containing an author’s argument. It will look like this:

·        The following is a memorandum from the business manager of a television station:

“Over the past year, our late-night news program has devoted increased time to national news and less time to weather and local news. During this time period, most of the complaints received from viewers were concerned with our station’s coverage of weather and local news. In addition, local businesses that used to advertise during our late-night news program have just canceled their advertising contracts with us. Therefore, in order to attract more viewers to the program and to avoid losing any further advertising revenues, we should restore the time devoted to weather and local news to its former level.”

The second part of the directions, the prompt, will give specific directions for how to approach the essay. An Argument essay prompt will look like this:

Write a response in which you describe what specific examples or evidence are needed to evaluate the argument and how those examples or evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

The Argument essay prompt may vary. Other Argument essay prompts will look like this:

·        Write a response in which you explore the assumptions, both implicit and explicit, in the author’s argument. Explain how the argument hinges on these assumptions and what the implications are if the assumptions prove unfounded.

·        Write a response in which you explain what information would be necessary in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions or pieces of information would help to evaluate the recommendation.

·        Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered to decide how likely the stated recommendation is to yield the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

·        Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to assess the reasonableness of both the prediction and the argument upon which it is based. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.

·        Write a response in which you discuss one or more viable alternatives to the proposed explanation. Justify, with support, why your explanation could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.

The Kaplan Method for Analytical Writing

1.    STEP 1Take the issue/argument apart.

2.    STEP 2Select the points you will make.

3.    STEP 3Organize, using Kaplan’s essay templates.

4.    STEP 4Type your essay.

5.    STEP 5Proofread your work.

HOW THE KAPLAN METHOD FOR ANALYTICAL WRITING WORKS

Now let’s discuss how the Kaplan Method for Analytical Writing works for the Argument essay:

1.     STEP 1
Take the argument apart.

The first step to deconstructing an argument is to identify the conclusion, that is, the author’s main point. After you’ve nailed down the conclusion, your next step is to locate the evidence used to support it. Lastly, identify the unstated assumptions (pieces of evidence that are not explicitly stated but that must be true in order for the argument to be convincing). Note any terms that are ambiguous and need defining.

2.     STEP 2
Select the points you will make.

Identify all the important assumptions between the evidence and the conclusion. Think of additional evidence that might be found that could strengthen or weaken those assumptions.

3.     STEP 3
Organize, using Kaplan’s Argument essay template.

Organize your thoughts by outlining what you want to say. Think about how the essay as a whole will flow. In the introduction, show that you understand the argument by putting it into your own words. Point out the author’s conclusion and the evidence used to support that conclusion. In each of the middle paragraphs, what you’ll do will vary from essay to essay. You might need to reveal the argument’s assumptions or flaws, discuss possible ways to strengthen or weaken the argument, identify important questions that would need to be addressed to evaluate the argument, or perform other tasks in accordance with that Argument essay’s specific instructions. Regardless of the variation, however, the argument will always be weak, and you should conclude by saying that without additional evidence, you are not persuaded.

·        Paragraph 1: Paraphrase the argument (the author’s conclusion and evidence). Summarize the goal of your essay, according to the specific instructions.

·        Paragraph 2: State and evaluate the most important assumption the author makes, question to be answered, or possible alternative explanation (depending on the specific instructions).

·        Paragraph 3: State and evaluate another assumption the author makes, question to be answered, or possible alternative explanation (depending on the specific instructions).

·        Additional paragraphs, as time permits: State and evaluate additional assumptions the author makes, questions to be answered, or possible alternative explanations (depending on the specific instructions). (Time valve: skip if need be.)

·        Last paragraph: Conclude by summarizing your main points. Directly answer the task given in the specific instructions.

4.     STEP 4
Type your essay.

You shouldn’t proceed with this step until you’ve completed the three preceding ones. Graders have a limited amount of time to work with, so start out and conclude with strong statements. Be emphatic and concise with your prose, and use transitions to link related ideas. This will help your writing flow and make things easier on the grader.

5.     STEP 5
Proofread your work.

Save enough time to read through your response in its entirety. As you do so, have a sense of the errors you are likely to make.

Now let’s see how these steps work with an Argument assignment by applying the Kaplan Method to the example prompt question provided.

HOW TO APPLY THE KAPLAN METHOD FOR ANALYTICAL WRITING TO THE ARGUMENT ESSAY

Now let’s apply the Kaplan Method for Analytical Writing to a sample Argument prompt:

“The problem of poor teacher performance that has plagued the state public school system is bound to become a good deal less serious in the future. The state has initiated comprehensive guidelines that oblige state teachers to complete a number of required credits in education and educational psychology at the graduate level before being certified.”

Write a response that examines this argument’s unstated assumptions. Make sure you explain how this argument depends on those assumptions and what the implications are if the assumptions are wrong.

1.     STEP 1
Take the argument apart.

Conclusion (the point the argument is trying to make): The problem of poorly trained teachers that has plagued the state public school system is bound to become a good deal less serious in the future.

Evidence (facts offered to support the conclusion): The state has initiated comprehensive guidelines that oblige state teachers to complete a number of required credits in education and educational psychology at the graduate level before being certified.

Assumptions (unspoken conditions or beliefs necessary for the conclusion to make sense in light of the evidence):

·        Credits in education will improve teachers’ classroom performance.

·        Current bad teachers haven’t already met this standard of training.

·        Current bad teachers will not still be teaching in the future or will have to be trained, too.

2.     STEP 2
Select the points you will make.

Analyze the use of evidence in the argument. Determine whether there’s anything relevant that’s not discussed, such as the following:

·        whether the training will actually address the cause of the problems

·        what “poorly performing” means

·        how to either improve or remove the bad teachers now teaching

Also determine what types of evidence would make the argument stronger or more logically sound. In this case, we need some new evidence to support the assumptions, such as the following:

·        evidence verifying that this training will make better teachers

·        evidence making it clear that current bad teachers haven’t already had this training

·        evidence suggesting why all or many bad teachers won’t still be teaching in the future (or why they’ll be better trained)

3.     STEP 3
Organize, using Kaplan’s Argument essay template.

For an essay on this topic, your opening sentence might look like this:

·        The argument that improved academic training, ensured by requiring credits in education and psychology, will substantially alleviate the current problem of poorly performing teachers may seem logical at first glance.

Paragraph 1: The argument is that improved academic training, ensured by requiring credits in education and psychology, will substantially alleviate the current problem of poorly performing teachers.

Paragraph 2: Will training address the cause of the problem?

Paragraph 3: “Poorly performing” is not precisely defined.

Paragraph 4: Has a similar state instituted similar guidelines and seen results?

Paragraph 5: The author has not presented well-defined terms and relies upon unproven assumptions; for these reasons the argument is not convincing.

Then use your notes as a working outline. In Argument essays, you’ll primarily address the ways in which the assumptions seem unsupported. You might also recommend new evidence you’d like to see and explain why. Remember to lead with your best arguments.

4.     STEP 4
Type your essay.

Begin writing your essay now. Your essay for this assignment might look like one of the following sample essays. Note: As bases for comparison, we’ve included one outstanding essay that deserves a score of 6 and—later in this chapter—one adequate essay that deserves a score of 4.

Sample Argument Essay 1

The argument that improved academic training, ensured by requiring credits in education and psychology, will substantially alleviate the current problem of poorly performing teachers may seem logical at first glance. However, her conclusion relies on assumptions for which there is no clear evidence, and it uses terms that lack definition.

First, the writer assumes that the required courses will produce better teachers. In fact, the courses might be entirely irrelevant to the teachers’ failings. Suppose, for example, that the main problem lies in cultural and linguistic gaps between teachers and students; graduate level courses that do not address these issues would be of little use in bridging these gaps and improving educational outcomes. Furthermore, the writer assumes that poorly performing teachers lack this standard of training. In fact, the writer makes no useful correlation between classroom performance and level of training.

Additionally, the writer provides no evidence that poorly performing teachers who are already certified will either stop teaching in the near future or will undergo additional training. In its current form, the argument implies that only teachers seeking certification will receive the specified training. If this is the case, the bright future the writer envisions may be decades away. The argument’s conclusion requires the support of evidence demonstrating that all teachers in the system who are identified as having “poor performance” will receive the remedial training and will then change their teaching methods accordingly.

The notion that the coursework will provide better teachers would be strengthened by a clear definition of “poor performance” in the classroom and by additional evidence that the training will address the relevant issues. The author’s argument would be strengthened considerably if she provided evidence of a direct relationship between teachers’ effectiveness in the classroom and their educational backgrounds.

In conclusion, the writer would not necessarily be wrong to assert that the state’s comprehensive guidelines will potentially lead to some improvement in the educational environment in public schools. After all, the additional training will certainly not adversely affect classroom performance. But to support the current conclusion that the guidelines will effectively solve the state’s problem, the writer must first define the scope of the problem more clearly and submit more conclusive evidence that the new requirements will, in fact, improve overall teaching performance.

5.     STEP 5
Proofread your work.

Be sure to allot some time after you have finished writing to review your essay. While a few grammatical errors here and there won’t harm your score, having enough of them will affect the overall clarity of your essay, and that certainly won’t look good. You want to make sure the graders are as favorably disposed to you as possible, and a well-written essay makes their job less tedious.

ASSESSMENT OF SAMPLE ARGUMENT ESSAY 1: “OUTSTANDING,” SCORE OF 6

Now we’ll look at how this essay would have been scored on the actual GRE Analytical Writing Section:

This outstanding response demonstrates the writer’s insightful analytical skills. The introduction notes the prompt’s specious reasoning occasioned by unsupported assumptions and a lack of definition and evidence. The writer follows this up with a one-paragraph examination of each of the root flaws in the argument. Specifically, the author exposes these points undermining the argument:

·        the assumption that the required courses will produce better teachers

·        the assumption that poorly performing teachers currently in the schools have not already had the proposed training

·        the complete lack of evidence that ineffective teachers currently working will either stop teaching in the future or will successfully adapt the required training to their classroom work

Each point receives thorough and cogent development (given the time constraints) in a smooth and logically organized discourse. This essay is succinct, economical, and error-free, with sentences that vary in length and complexity, while the diction and vocabulary stand out as both precise and expressive.

HOW TO APPLY THE KAPLAN METHOD FOR ANALYTICAL WRITING TO ANOTHER ARGUMENT ESSAY

Now let’s apply the Kaplan Method for Analytical Writing to a second Argument prompt:

“The commercial airline industry in the country of Freedonia has experienced impressive growth in the past three years. This trend will surely continue in the years to come, since the airline industry will benefit from recent changes in Freedonian society: incomes are rising; most employees now receive more vacation time; and interest in travel is rising, as shown by an increase in media attention devoted to foreign cultures and tourist attractions.”

Write a response that examines this argument’s unstated assumptions. Make sure you explain how this argument depends on those assumptions and what the implications are if the assumptions are wrong.

1.     STEP 1
Take the argument apart.

Conclusion (the point the argument’s trying to make): The upward trend of growth in Freedonia’s airline industry will continue.

Evidence (basis offered to support the conclusion):  Incomes are rising. Employees have more vacation time. Interest in travel is rising, as shown by increased media attention devoted to foreign cultures and tourist attractions.

Assumptions (unspoken conditions or beliefs necessary for the conclusion to make sense in light of the evidence):

·        Incomes will continue to rise in the future.

·        Employees will want to spend their vacation time abroad and not at home.

·        Those who do wish to travel will want to go somewhere requiring air travel.

·        The increased media attention on foreign cultures and tourist attractions is due to public interest in travel.

·        The airline industry will directly benefit from these changes.

2.     STEP 2
Select the points you will make.

Analyze the use of evidence in the argument. Determine whether there’s anything relevant that’s not discussed, such as the following:

·        What actually caused the growth in the airline industry?

·        The fact that employees may want to spend their increased disposable income and vacation time doing other things

·        Whether the increased media attention on foreign cultures is due to other factors besides increased public interest in travel

Also determine what types of evidence would make the argument stronger or more logically sound. In this case, we need some new evidence to support the assumptions, such as the following:

·        Evidence verifying that the positive economic changes in Freedonian society will continue

·        Evidence suggesting the cause of the increased media coverage of foreign cultures is in fact due to an interest in travel

3.     STEP 3
Organize, using Kaplan’s Argument essay template.

For an essay on this topic, your opening sentence might look like this:

·        The author believes that the recent growth in Freedonia’s commercial airline industry will continue for years to come.

Paragraph 1: The conclusion is that the positive growth in Freedonia’s commercial airline industry will continue. The evidence is that income, vacation time, and interest in travel are all on the rise.

Paragraph 2: The author assumes that the favorable economic conditions will continue. However, the cause of these conditions is not explained, and neither is the economy’s relation to the airline industry.

Paragraph 3: The argument would be strengthened if we knew what caused the media attention and growth in the commercial airline industry.

Paragraph 4: What is the source of the economic conditions, and how do they relate to the airline industry?

Paragraph 5: If the author’s assumptions are wrong, Freedonia’s airline industry might experience trouble in the future.

Then use your notes as a working outline. In Argument essays, you’ll primarily address the ways in which the assumptions seem unsupported. You might also recommend new evidence you’d like to see and explain why. Remember to lead with your best arguments.

4.     STEP 4
Type your essay.

Sample Argument Essay 2

The author concludes that the positive growth in Freedonia’s commercial airline industry will continue for years to come. The evidence is that incomes, vacation time, and interest in travel are all on the rise. While this argument may seem tenable at first glance, the conclusion relies on assumptions for which there is no clear evidence and on undefined terms.

First, the writer assumes that the favorable economic conditions in Freedonia will continue. It is entirely possible that they will not, and that employees will have neither the money nor the vacation time necessary to pay for expensive foreign vacations. Suppose, for example, that incomes do not continue to rise. People would not have the money to spend on expensive vacations. Secondly, do we really know that the citizens of Freedonia will want to spend their money on vacations? Also, how do we know they will want to visit places that necessitate air travel?

The argument would be strengthened considerably if the author provided evidence of a direct relationship between the increased media attention on foreign cultures and tourist attractions and the genuine desire to spend disposable income and vacation time traveling. The author does not explain where this interest comes from. Also, even if people are interested, it does not necessarily follow that they will be either willing or able to indulge that interest with extravagant holidays.

Furthermore, the writer does not explain the source of these economic conditions, nor what relation, if any, they have to the airline industry. What if the changes in Freedonian society that have led to higher incomes and more vacation time do not help the airline industry? Perhaps the economic changes are the result of protective tariffs and trade policies that make it harder for Freedonians to conduct business internationally. Perhaps the government is limiting imports and exports. These possibilities could shrink the growth of the airline industry.

If the writer is wrong about the assumptions he has made regarding Freedonian society, the implications for the commercial airline industry in Freedonia are less rosy. It would mean that there will be less income and no less interest in foreign travel.

5.     STEP 5
Proofread your work.

Take the last couple of minutes to catch any glaring errors.

ASSESSMENT OF SAMPLE ARGUMENT ESSAY 2: “ADEQUATE,” SCORE OF 4

Now we’ll look at how this essay would have been scored on the actual GRE Analytical Writing section:

This essay is reasonably well constructed throughout, enabling the reader to move from point to point as the writer examines the multifaceted implications of the issue. The writer correctly identifies and articulates several assumptions that the argument makes but does not justify. The author does an adequate job of pointing out how the argument depends upon those assumptions for its cogency. The essay suffers because the writer jumps around a little bit. The paragraph explaining how the argument could be strengthened should be the second-to-last paragraph, not mixed into the body of the essay. Also, the explication of the economic climate of Freedonia, and its implications for foreign travel, is slight. Finally, the author’s conclusion does not do a particularly good job of restating the author’s position effectively. The writing itself is direct and includes relatively few errors. Sentence structure is not particularly varied, and the word choice and vocabulary are adequate. For these reasons, the essay earns an “Adequate” score of 4.

Kaplan’s Additional Tips for the Argument Essay

Try to Keep Things Simple

These essays aren’t supposed to be so opaque in their logic that they can’t be unpacked on Test Day. Similarly, your responses don’t have to be abstruse or convoluted (and shouldn’t be!). Try to be as clear and linear in your writing as possible when dissecting an argument.

Don’t Worry about Agreeing or Disagreeing with the Argument

This is important. You don’t have to agree or disagree with the argument itself. What you (and the graders) are interested in is your ability to reason. That means you have to understand the argument and grasp it well enough to be able to point out its assumptions (i.e., where the author takes a leap in logic by assuming, rather than proving, a point). You should not dispute the conclusion or the evidence, only the assumptions. Do not spend any time at all on your personal opinion about the conclusion.

Paraphrase Long or Complex Sentences

You may encounter a sentence that, because of its length or structure, is hard to get a handle on. When faced with a complex sentence, put it into your own words; this will make the argument itself much easier to decipher and wrestle with.

Argument Essay Practice Set

1.     

2.       Directions

You will be given a brief passage that presents an argument, or an argument you need to complete, along with detailed instructions on how to respond to the passage. You have 30 minutes to plan and compose a response in which you analyze the passage according to the instructions. A response to any other argument results in a score of zero.

Note

You are not being asked to present your opinions on the subject. Make sure you respond to the instructions and support your analysis with pertinent reasons and/or examples.

Feel free to take a few minutes to consider the argument and instructions, and to plan your response, before you begin to write. Be certain your analysis is fully developed and logically organized, and make sure you leave enough time to review and revise what you’ve written.

3.     

1.                      ARGUMENT ESSAY 1

30 Minutes

Length: 1 essay

2.    The following appeared in the City Council Proceedings section of the local newspaper in Smithville:

“The city council of Smithville has instituted changes to police procedures to improve the visibility of the police force. These changes require that the town hire more police officers, budget more funds for police overtime, and direct officers to patrol significantly more often on foot rather than from their patrol cars. These improvements in visibility will significantly lower the crime rate in Smithville and make its citizens feel safer.”

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered to decide how likely the stated recommendation is to yield the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

4.       Directions

You will be given a brief passage that presents an argument, or an argument you need to complete, along with detailed instructions on how to respond to the passage. You have 30 minutes to plan and compose a response in which you analyze the passage according to the instructions. A response to any other argument results in a score of zero.

Note

You are not being asked to present your opinions on the subject. Make sure you respond to the instructions and support your analysis with pertinent reasons and/or examples.

Feel free to take a few minutes to consider the argument and instructions, and to plan your response, before you begin to write. Be certain your analysis is fully developed and logically organized, and make sure you leave enough time to review and revise what you’ve written.

5.     

1.                      ARGUMENT ESSAY 2

30 Minutes

Length: 1 essay

2.    “Tusk University should build a new recreational facility, both to attract new students and to better serve the needs of our current student body. Tusk projects that enrollment will double over the next 10 years, based on current trends. The new student body is expected to reflect a much higher percentage of commuter students than we currently enroll. This will make the existing facilities inadequate. Moreover, the cost of health and recreation club membership in our community has increased rapidly in recent years. Thus, students will find it much more advantageous to make use of the facilities on campus. Finally, an attractive new recreation center would make prospective students, especially athletically gifted ones, more likely to enroll at Tusk.”

Write a response that examines this argument’s unstated assumptions. Make sure you explain how this argument depends on those assumptions and what the implications are if the assumptions are wrong.

Answers and Explanations

1.       ARGUMENT ESSAY SAMPLE ESSAYS AND ASSESSMENTS

What follows are top-scoring sample essays for each of the practice prompts. Note how the authors adhere to the Kaplan Method for Analytical Writing.

Argument Essay 1 : “Outstanding,” Score of 6

The city council of Smithville believes that increasing the visibility of its police force will reduce crime and increase the safety of its citizens. However, the memo provides no evidence to support this argument, and the city council may not be taking other variables, alternative solutions, or the citizens’ desires into consideration.

The Smithville city council assumes that crime persists because the city’s police force has too low a profile, but the memo never cites evidence to support this position. The council could do something as simple yet effective as asking the town librarian to review published studies to see if a parallel exists between a high police presence and reduced crime rates. It could also hire an independent research firm to see if a correlation exists between Smithville crime scenes and a lack of police activity.

The council should consider other factors that might account for the current crime rate. The police force may be under-trained or poorly managed. If so, adding more officers or encouraging officers to work longer hours could actually compound the problem. Here again, research could be a vital ally in the council’s case: What have other towns with similar problems identified as causal factors? What training do their police forces receive? How are they deployed, on foot or in patrol cars? Answering questions like these might help clarify a solution to the town’s problem. The council should also research historic solutions to the problem: How have towns like theirs reduced a growing crime rate? This research could bolster the council’s position or provide alternative, less costly solutions that have successfully fought crime.

The council also assumes that a higher police presence automatically reduces citizen concerns over crime, but it doesn’t take into consideration the relationship between the residents and the police. Some communities regard police officers with a great deal of distrust, and that attitude may be pronounced in a community where the police force is perceived as unable to cope with crime. Has the community itself, through its elected leaders, the police chief, op-ed pieces in the newspaper, or community groups, expressed a need for a stronger police force? The memo never says.

As it currently stands, the Smithville city council’s memo announces a decision that appears to have been made in a vacuum. To convince citizens that bolstering the police force and changing patrol procedures is the way to fight crime, the memo needs to state how the council arrived at this decision. Only then can citizens feel that the council is taking the right course of action.

Assessment of Essay 1

The author successfully identifies and analyzes this argument’s recommendation: that the way for Smithville to lower its crime rate and improve citizen safety is to increase police visibility.

In the opening paragraph, the essay restates the argument and then cites its unsupported assumptions. In the following four paragraphs, the author insightfully identifies flaws in the assumptions and perceptively suggests what would need to be known to make such a recommendation and how knowing this information would help in evaluating this recommendation.

Specifically, the author cites these points undermining the argument:

·        The assumption that a higher police profile will lower the crime rate

·        The assumption that no other cause exists for the high crime rate but low police visibility

·        The lack of research into historically successful alternative solutions

·        The assumption that the town’s citizens will agree that the council’s solution is the right one

Throughout the essay, the author uses well-organized paragraphs—each starts with a broad statement followed by supporting statements—and her ideas logically flow from one sentence to the next. She uses succinct, economical diction and rotates complex and simple sentences.

The essay concludes strongly by summarizing the evidence necessary for the council to recommend that higher police visibility will reduce crime and increase citizen safety. The essay remains focused and clear throughout, earning a score of 6.

2.      Argument Essay 2 : “Strong,” Score of 5

The author contends that Tusk University should build a new recreational facility to attract new students, and to better serve the needs of its current students. The argument also asserts that this will lead to greater enrollment over the next ten years. While it may prove to be a worthy project, the argument appears to rely on assumptions that lack conclusive supporting evidence. The writer would be well advised to address these issues to make the point of the argument more cogent and convincing.

First and foremost, the writer assumes, without providing any evidence, that recreational facilities will be a significant factor in attracting and serving students interested in Tusk.

This begs the question of the role of recreation and/or athletic facilities in the matriculation and retention of students in institutions of higher learning. In the absence of any reference to the academic mission of the University, or even of the role that the facility might have in attracting, retaining, or helping to fund areas more central to that mission, the writer’s conclusion appears unsupported.

Secondly, the writer assumes, again without citing specific evidence, that the projected doubling of enrollment will by itself lead to an increase in demand for the new recreational facilities proposed. Even if the facilities would indeed be attractive relative to those available off campus, the author has provided no proof that a substantial part of the increased or even current enrollment would be inclined to consider the new facilities an asset to their education. Suppose for a moment that this enlarged commuter-based enrollment turns out to be largely made up of part-time students with jobs and family demands away from the campus. Would such a student body see the new facility as a priority? Would the schedules of such students allow them to take advantage of the improvement?

Finally, the author fails to describe what specific services, programs, and amenities the proposed new facility will provide, how and at what cost relative to facilities available elsewhere these will be made available to the university community, and how the financial burden of both building and operating the new center will be offset. Beyond these issues endemic to the campus setting, the writer presents no overview of the environmental, social, and public relations aspects of the project in a larger context, either intra- or extra-collegiate.

The issues raised here could easily be addressed by providing evidence that backs up the author’s claim. By assembling sufficient and specific demographic and economic evidence to support the argument’s questionable assumptions, the writer may not only be able to overcome the limitations of the current argument, but provide a rationale for the proposal beyond the terms offered here.

Assessment of Essay 2

This essay adequately targets the argument’s unstated assumptions and inadequate evidence. The essay identifies and critiques the gaps in the author’s chain of logic and reasoning that results from assuming the following:

·        that recreational facilities will be a significant factor in attracting and serving students interested in Tusk

·        that doubling of enrollment will by itself lead to an increase in demand and presumably in use for the new recreational facilities

The writer clearly grasps the argument’s central weaknesses. But although the ideas are clear, the essay lacks transitional phrases and is not well organized. The writing feels rushed and lacks proofreading. While the writer demonstrates a better-than-adequate control of language and ably conforms to the conventions of written English, this 5 essay suffers from turgid prose and a lack of the more thorough development of a typical 6 response.