Modern Italian Grammar: A Practical Guide, Third Edition (2013)

Part B. Functions

II. Actions affecting ourselves and others

20. Social interactions

20.1 Greeting, welcoming

Saying ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’:

When enquiring about someone's state of health, use the verb stare.

Come stai? or Come va? are used when addressing somebody with the familiar tu:

Ciao Paolo. Come stai?

Hello Paolo. How are you?

Come sta? is the formal (Lei) form of address (see 3.3.1 and 41.2), both for men and for women:

Buon giorno Dottoressa Serra. Come sta?

Good morning Dr Serra. How are you?

A normal reply might be one of the following (providing some brief information about one's physical state):

(Molto) bene, grazie e tu/Lei?

Very well, thank you. And you?

Bene grazie, non c'è male.

Thanks, not bad.

Insomma . . . non c'è male.

Not bad. (but said without conviction)

Non molto bene purtroppo.

Not very well, unfortunately.

Benvenuto means ‘welcome’ but is used mainly on relatively formal occasions. When welcoming someone into a room, Italians often say:

Si accomodi, signora.

Please come in, signora.

(Literally: Make yourself comfortable.)

Accomodati! / Accomodatevi!

Come in! (familiar form of address, using tu/voi)

Avanti!

Come in! (Literally: Forward!)

When inviting guests to sit down, you can use accomodarsi, as above, or else sedersi:

Prego, si sieda, signora.

Please take a seat, signora.

Siediti, Angela.

Sit down, Angela.

Sedetevi, ragazzi.

Sit down, boys.

When sending your greetings to someone's family, use salutare:

Mi saluti Sua madre.

Say ‘hello’ to your mother for me.

Salutami la tua mamma.

Say ‘hello’ to your mum for me.

You can also use salutare to pass on greetings from someone else:

Mio marito La saluta.

My husband sends (you) best wishes.

Giorgio ti saluta.

Giorgio sends (you) best wishes.

20.2 Introducing oneself and others

You might want to introduce yourself to someone you have just met, or introduce someone else (see also 8.1). Here are the phrases most commonly used, with approximate translations:

Permette . . . ?

Allow me . . . (rather formal first approach, followed by your own name)

Mi chiamo Peter Green.

My name is Peter Green

(Literally: I am called . . .)

Piacere, Sally Parker.

My name is Sally Parker. It's a pleasure to meet you.

Molto lieta/o.

Glad to meet you . . .

Here are two examples of typical introductions, the first rather formal (for example, a business situation), the second more informal (for example, two young students):

Dialogue 1

Dialogue 2

When introducing a third person, you can say:

Le presento l'avvocato Negri . . .

Can I introduce Mr Negri (to you)?

(Literally: ‘Lawyer Negri’)

Posso presentar Le l'avvocato Negri?

Can I introduce Mr Negri (to you)?

(Literally: ‘Lawyer Negri’)

Ti presento il mio amico Luigi.

This is my friend Luigi.

Notice that in Italy professional titles or qualifications such as dottore, professore, ingegnere, direttore are commonly used when addressing or introducing somebody, where you would not use them in English. The same applies to signora ‘madam’ or signore ‘sir’ (see 20.9 below).

20.3 Saying goodbye

The commonest ways to say goodbye in Italian are arrivederci or (to friends) ciao.

A more formal form is arrivederLa, although arrivederci is appropriate in almost all circumstances.

Other very common familiar forms of leave-taking are:

20.4 Wishes

Here is a series of expressions used as good wishes in various circumstances. These may be exchanged both when meeting and when leaving people:

20.5 Expressing and receiving thanks, appreciation

Saying thank you:

Receiving thanks:

Expressing a more intense appreciation:

Grazie, molto gentile.

Thank you, very kind of you.

Molto gentile da parte Sua.

How kind of you.

La ringrazio molto per la Sua ospitalità.

Thank you very much indeed for your hospitality.

Le sono molto grata/o per l'assistenza che ho ricevuto.

I am very grateful to you for the assistance I received.

Ho apprezzato molto il Suo regalo.

I much appreciated your present.

Ho gradito molto i Suoi fiori.

I very much appreciated your flowers.

Ancora mille grazie. Lei è stata/o veramente gentile.

Thank you again. You have been extremely kind.

20.6 Compliments and congratulations

Here are some expressions that can be used to convey your compliments to somebody in various circumstances.

Bravo/a!

Well done! (friendly and informal)

Complimenti!

Congratulations!

Complimenti per la laurea!

Congratulations on your degree!

Congratulazioni!

Congratulations! (more formal)

Felicitazioni per il vostro matrimonio / anniversario.

Congratulations on your marriage / anniversary.

Che bello!

How beautiful!

Che bel vestito!

What a nice dress!

Che begli occhi che hai!

What beautiful eyes you have!

Come sei elegante!

How elegant you are!

Le sta molto bene questa giacca.

This jacket looks really good on you.

Come parli bene l'italiano!

How good your Italian is!

20.7 Making and accepting excuses, apologies

The following examples show the most usual ways to say ‘excuse me’ or ‘sorry’ in Italian. Speaking formally, using the Lei form of address:

La prego di scusarmi.

I beg your pardon.

La prego di accettare le mie scuse. (more formal)

I hope you will accept my apologies.

Sono spiacente che non ci sia abbastanza caffè per tutti. (very formal)

I regret there is not enough coffee for everybody.

Speaking informally, using the tu form of address:

To accept someone's apologies, you may say:

20.8 Expressing commiseration, sympathy

To express sympathy for someone's death, whether speaking or in writing, you can use condoglianze ‘condolences’:

Desidero esprimere le mie condoglianze per la perdita di Suo marito.

I wish to express my sympathy for the loss of your husband.

Some common expressions of commiseration or regret are the following:

(Che) peccato!

What a pity! It's a shame!

Peccato che lei sia arrivata in ritardo.

It's a pity that she arrived late.

È un peccato che non abbiate visto quel film.

It's a pity you haven't seen that film.

Poveretto/a!

Poor him/her!

► See also 10.6.2.

Povero Mario!

Poor Mario!

Che pena!

What a shame!

Poveretti, mi fanno pena!

Poor things. I feel sorry for them.

Mi dispiace che abbiate avuto questo brutto incidente.

I'm sorry you had this bad accident.

20.9 Using titles, salutations

As mentioned above (see 20.2), in Italy professional titles and qualifications are commonly used when addressing somebody, either speaking or in writing. Failing to do so, or using the wrong title, may result in embarrassment or offence.

Here we present the titles most commonly used. (See 42.2.3 for details of abbreviations and other conventional forms used in correspondence.) The titles shown below are general forms of address used when the person addressed has no special title, but also when you don't know whether he/she has other titles or not. Italians would tactfully try to find out whether any other title is appropriate, before addressing somebody with Signor(e). A title may be used on its own or followed by the person's surname, in which case the final -e is dropped from the masculine form, for example Signore is abbreviated to Signor (Signo r Ross i):

The final -e is also dropped before a surname with many of the following titles (as indicated by the brackets):

Generally used on its own, not with a surname, is:

In some professions (such as military or diplomatic), the specific title indicating the rank should be used:

In some cases, but not always, there are both masculine and feminine forms. For a list of the most common titles or professions with distinct feminine equivalents (for example professoressa, dottoressa), see 1.2.2 and 8.3.3. Where there is no feminine form, women should be addressed with the same title as their male counterparts: Ingegner Maggioni, Avvocato Parma.

In some cases the feminine form exists but follows the rather old-fashioned tradition of indicating the wife of the professional person: ambasciatrice ‘the ambassador's wife’, presidentessa ‘the president's wife’. In these cases, it is common practice not to use the feminine form but to use instead the masculine form to indicate women working in this profession as well:

La presidente della Regione è stata intervistata dal giornale La Repubblica.

The President of the Region was interviewed by the newspaper La Repubblica.

Generally speaking, when there is a choice of forms, the use of the masculine form is perceived as putting less emphasis on the gender aspect and more on the profession of the person, and is therefore seen as less sexist.

The masculine form is used for all those professions for which there is no commonly used feminine form, for example il ministro ‘minister’:

Anna Maria Cancellieri è stata nominata ministro degli Interni.

Anna Maria Cancellieri was nominated Minister of the Interior.

Some feminine titles have been created in reaction to the increase of women entering what were traditionally male-only jobs. But use of titles such as poliziotta ‘policewoman’, avvocatessa ‘female lawyer’, soldatessa, ‘female soldier’ and vigilessa ‘female traffic warden’ is perceived as ironic and patronising (see 1.2.2 and 8.3.3).